Love Only Knows
by The 1000th Kiss
Summary: A short look into Angel and Collins' relationship. Rated 'cause it's RENT. R&R please!


**This is a fic that the song "Love Only Knows" by Josh Groban inspired me to write. I suggest you look it up even if you're not a fan of, or have never heard of, Josh Groban. It's a truly beautiful song.**

**I own nothing but the plot line. The Almighty Larson owns it all.**

_**I've tried to hold this back so long  
><strong>__**And we're always such a good thing when it's gone  
><strong>__**Would it be alright if we just left our heads tonight?**_

Collins stood in the doorway of the kitchen and watched as Angel looked through the cupboards. She had come to his rescue just a few hours earlier and he had thanked her several times while she was tending to his wounds, but he wasn't sure saying "thank you" was enough.

"Bad news, Tom," Angel said, closing the cupboard she was searching. "I don't have any food. But I recently . . . came into some money. And I know a little diner that's open late. What do you say?"

Collins smiled at her and replied, "It's a date."

The conversation they had during dinner made Collins realize that he and Angel had a lot in common. They were both disowned by their parents, they'd both had their hearts broken, and they were both searching for someone to love them. Neither of them cared that they had just met. They just wanted to enjoy each other's company. And that's just what they did.

_**Take me away from this old game  
><strong>__**Of saying that we're both too much the same  
><strong>__**Would it be alright if I just stay with you tonight?**_

"I don't know, Collins," Angel said when they returned to her apartment. Collins had brought up the possibility of them dating. "We both have the same problems. How can one of us comfort the other if we both feel pain from the same thing?" Collins looked away from her. He refused to let her see how much her words hurt him. When she turned his head so that his attention was on her again, he saw that her eyes were filled with nothing but love.

"I'm sorry I came on so . . . strong," he told her. She smiled and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"It's okay. I . . . _do_ wanna try, but I don't know how far we'll make it."

"You wanna try?" Angel nodded and Collins smiled. "Would it be alright if I stayed here with you tonight?"

"Of course." Angel took the anarchist's hand and started to lead him to the bedroom.

_**And before I go, will I ever see you again?  
><strong>__**She said, "Love only knows."**_

Two nights later, after going to Maureen's protest and having dinner at the Life Café, Angel told Collins that she thought he should spend the night at the loft. It was his old home and he hadn't seen Mark and Roger in seven months. Despite Collins' protests, Angel held her ground and he eventually agreed.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" he asked. Angel kissed him gently.

"Love only knows, honey," she told him.

_**Love only knows if we'll give in to fear  
><strong>__**And choose life undercover  
><strong>__**She said, "Love only knows if it's special enough  
><strong>__**That we'll choose one another, we'll choose each other."**_

"Do you think we make . . . a good couple?" Collins asked. He had his hands on the rail of the fire escape as he stared up at the stars. Angel responded by placing one of her hands on top of one of his. "Is that a 'yes?'"

"That depends on what a 'good couple' is," she told him. They shared a laugh.

"A happy couple." Angel placed her other hand on Collins' neck. His skin tingled at the touch as they looked into each other's eyes. Angel brought her lips to Collins' ear.

"I think we do," she whispered. "But only Love knows for sure."

_**You were the secret I loved to keep  
><strong>__**The name I would only sing in my sleep  
><strong>__**Would it be alright if we just lose ourselves tonight?**_

"I don't care what you think of it!" Collins yelled into the phone at his father. Tears were streaming down his face and Angel was watching him sadly from the couch. "I am who I am! I love Angel! She's my everything! And if you don't like it you can go to Hell!" Collins slammed the phone down.

"Collins, honey, don't cry," Angel told her lover, getting up from the couch and crossing the room. She was on the verge of tears herself. "He doesn't matter."

"I just didn't wanna . . . have to keep you . . . a secret anymore." Collins was having difficulty speaking as he cried.

"Well, now I'm not a secret." Angel wiped tears off of Collins' cheeks. "And you still have me." Collins looked into his lover's eyes as his tears slowed.

"I love you, Angel," he told her. She responded by pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss. The two of them were soon on the couch, losing themselves in each other. Loving each other.

_**And if you let go, will you reach out again?  
><strong>__**She said, "Love only knows."**_

"Honey, can I ask you something?" Angel said. She had her sketch pad on her lap and Collins was grading essays. "Something serious?"

"Sure, Ang," Collins replied. He continued to grade the essays.

"If I die first, what will you do?" That was enough to make Collins drop his pen and stare at Angel. He had no expression.

"I . . . don't even wanna think about that," he replied.

"It's gonna happen sooner or later, darling." Angel placed her sketch pad on the coffee table in front of the couch and looked at Collins with a serious expression on her face. "What will you do?"

"Never love again."

"That's not good, honey."

"Well, it's what would happen. My whole world would stop and I'd never love anyone again."

"Why not?"

"'Cause it'd be impossible for me to love someone else even half as much as I love you."

"What if I was still with you in spirit? Reaching out to tell you it's okay for you to move on?"

"Would you do that?" Angel kissed Collins on the cheek.

"Love only knows, sweetheart," she replied.

_**Love only knows if we'll give in to fear  
><strong>__**And choose life undercover  
><strong>__**She said, "Love only knows if it's special enough  
><strong>__**That we'll choose one another, we'll choose each other."**_

"Damn, let's _never _get like that," Collins said to Angel as they watch Maureen and Joanne storm off in opposite directions. Angel smiled and grabbed Collins' hand.

"Never," she replied. Collins gave her a peck on the cheek. "Especially when we get engaged." Collins smirked at his lover as they and their friends started walking out of the building.

"Are you proposing?" he asked.

"What would you say if I _was _proposing?" Everyone stopped walking and looked at Collins.

"I'd say, you better do a better job than that," Collins told his lover, smiling. Angel smiled back at him, took the ring she was wearing off of her finger, got down on one knee, and took Collins' left hand in hers.

"Thomas Collins, you are the love of my life and you make me whole," she said. "Will you marry me?" Everyone waited for Collins to give his answer.

"I do," he replied with a smile. Angel slipped the ring onto Collins' ring finger. "That was a much better proposal, by the way." Angel stood up and kissed her lover romantically.

_**And I can't breathe without you and I don't  
><strong>__**And I can't live without love and I won't  
><strong>__**And I won't...**_

Collins sat next to Angel on their bed and wiped the sweat off of her forehead. Angel had been sick for about three days and she seemed to be getting worse each day. Collins had to force himself to keep calm so that he could take care of her.

"Do you think you can eat anything?" he asked.

"I don't know," Angel replied. Her voice was barely above a whisper. Seeing his lover this way made Collins want to cry. "I don't have much of an appetite."

"You haven't eaten in three days, Angel." Collins held his breath as Angel began coughing violently. Even after Angel had stopped coughing, he still held his breath. And it was noticeable.

"Honey, you have to breathe, you know." Collins waited a few moments before slowly exhaling.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," he said, picking Angel up bridal style.

_**Love only knows if we'll give in to fear  
><strong>__**And choose life undercover  
><strong>__**She said, "Love only knows if it's special enough  
><strong>__**That we'll choose one another."**_

"This isn't fair," Collins said. He was sitting behind Angel on her hospital bed. His arms were around her frail body. "This shouldn't be happening to you."

"We all knew this would happen," Angel replied. Her voice was raspy and soft.

"What do you mean by 'we all?'"

"You, me, and Love." Angel coughed and Collins tensed up.

"Why do you talk about love like it's a person?"

"Because even though Love may not be a person, it _is _alive, honey. A living thing that brings people together. Love knew how our relationship would start . . . and how it would end. Love knew our meeting was special and that we'd choose to be with one another. Love's done its job and now it has to find someone else for you. Just trust it, darling. Just trust Love."

_**Oh, love only knows how your arms pull me in  
><strong>__**Like the tide pulls me under  
><strong>__**She said, "Love only knows just how long we can run  
><strong>__**Before we lose each other."  
><strong>__**And we need each other**_

Collins sobbed while he held Angel's limp body in his arms. He thought about what she had told him about Love. He wanted to hate Love for knowing so much. Knowing exactly when he would lose his angel. Knowing how much she meant to him, how much he _needed _her, yet not giving even the slightest clue as to how much time they had to be together.

He had no will to go on. He needed to be with Angel or he would be lost forever. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want to live either. And so he didn't. He saved up enough money, moved to Santa Fe, and soon lost contact with every one of his friends. In his small one bedroom apartment in sunny Santa Fe, holding a picture of Angel, was where he would wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . . to die.

_**And I can't live without you and I won't...**_

**Review please.**


End file.
